Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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