I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
