I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
