I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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