I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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