Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
