dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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