ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
