I think im going to throw up on grandma
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
