just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
