i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
