PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
