I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize