is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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