But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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