I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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