I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
