Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found a bag of teeth...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
