Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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