Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
