i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
