Church boner. Awkwardddd
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
