Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
