You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i've created a new STD.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
