i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
