I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
