I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
smell my finger.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
