Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
