i don't like sucking hair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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