The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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