I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
