butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
