my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
