id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
