Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
