I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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