I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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