My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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