He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
