I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize