Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
