Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
