marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
