I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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