i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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