And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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