Buhtt sex?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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