i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize