hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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