What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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