i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to have your abortion
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
