Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
