I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
