It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
