Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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