U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
