It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
