Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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