dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
