Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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