Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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