Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize