my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
