And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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