do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
